Cigars and Cold Weather

Well friends, the check’s in the mail. Damned if it’s not already time to break out the flannels and let my beard grow in. The lawnmower has already gone into hibernation. Next thing you know I’ll be raking leaves, then shoveling snow and scraping ice.

This also marks another year spending my hard-earned paycheck on everything but a heat and ventilation system for my detached garage. Score one for the missus.

What to do now? The way I see it, I have a couple options:

  1. Quit smoking cigars
    Ha! C’mon… that’s obviously not going to happen.
  2. Move someplace warm
    Yeah…maybe when I retire.
  3. Invest in Petit Coronas like Rocky Patel Juniors or Famous Buenos Maduritos
    This solution, while inelegant, is probably the most realistic. Doesn’t mean I won’t ever-so-slightly resent having to fight off shivering outside. On the flipside, it’s a reason to indulge in a generous ration of whisky.
  4. Buy an outdoor propane heater
    Another possibility, but it does nothing to protect against bitter-cold winter wind.
  5. Stew in a bath of cigar smoke in a cold (but windless) garage
    It’s highly likely that I’ll be doing this more than once this winter. This approach requires a post-cigar shower and change of clothes, though.
  6. Invest in heat and ventilation for the garage
    This could be just inside the realm of possibility…I need to investigate indoor propane heaters.

If you, too, will know the icy sting of winter this year, I want to hear your suggestions! Is there some option I’m missing here?

If, however, you’re from somewhere that’s warm year-round, kindly keep your comments to yourself (kidding, of course).

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Lou Tenney

When he's not busy writing, editing, smoking cigars, or raising his many, many children, Hayward " "It's Lou, not Hayward" " Tenney spends his days combating confusion about his real name (it's Hayward, but please - call him " "Lou" ") and mourning the matrimonially-induced loss of his moustache (what's he gonna do with all that moustache wax he made?).

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