Bad Cigar Tips

Hayward’s Bad Cigar Tips

  • In these tough economic times, it pays to bring your own cigars to the lounge.
  • Quality Control is job #1 when browsing for cigars, so fondle as many as you can. Squeeze them; smell their wrappers. Listen closely as you roll them between your fingers.
  • Cigar cutters are redundant: if you have teeth, use them.
  • Dip your cigar into cognac or rum to enjoy the best of both worlds.
  • Do not waste time by “toasting” the foot of a cigar before you light it.
  • Smoke your cigar without pause. You didn’t pay good money to watch it smoke itself in an ashtray!
  • Once finished, the considerate smoker stubs his cigar out until it’s no longer smoldering.
  • No humidor? No problem. Store your cigars in your freezer, next to the peas.
  • The higher the price, the better the cigar.
  • The darker the wrapper, the stronger the cigar.
  • The bigger the cigar, the stronger the smoke.
  • Asking for a free cigar outright is tactless! Instead, drop a crescendo of hints: “That looks like a great smoke,” or, “I’d like to try that cigar sometime.”
  • That’s not mold – it’s plume!

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Humberto’s Bad Cigar Tips

  • Lick your cigar from head to foot to “seal-in” the flavors.
  • Avoid ripping the cigar’s wrapper by sliding the band off rather than separating the band where it’s glued.
  • Bounce your cigar off a hard surface before lighting. If it tilts on the way back up, it’s not packed evenly
  • Keep the ash on as long as possible. It makes a great filter, plus it’s another great way to “seal in” your cigar’s flavors.
  • A great cigar will ooze all great aromas right through the cellophane sleeve. Always test odor before removing from cellophane. If it smells like ammonia, it’s a keeper
  • Dip the foot of your cigar in Cognac before lighting.
  • On the bottom row of every cigar box and humidor, are the cigars with most age on them.
  • Plume is good and indicative of absolutely perfect conditions from the moment the tobacco is picked to the time you take it out of your humidor. Ask any chemist.

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Gary’s Bad Cigar Tips

 

  • Clip the head of your cigar, but smoke it from the foot.
  • You can grow tobacco by planting a cigar stub in well-fertilized soil.
  • You can learn Spanish by listening to Julio Iglesias CD’s while you smoke your cigar.
  • Like flavored cigars? After lighting-up, dip the head of your cigar in chocolate milk.
  • By holding the foot of a cigar to your ear, you can hear the ocean.
  • Eat a mint before smoking your cigar; it will help prevent cigar breath.
  • If your cigar is plugged, fire a .22 caliber bullet through it.
  • To make sure you get as precise a cut as possible, use one of those big paper cutting boards to clip your cigar.
  • If you tend to “nub” your cigars down to your fingertips, wear an oven mitt.
  • It’s OK to use a toaster oven to toast your cigar.

Suffice it to say, the best teacher is experience. Shop smart, experiment by trying a lot of different cigars, and most of all, enjoy! Feel free to leave your own bad cigar tips in the comments section.

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