Whether you’re actually manning the grill or busy devouring all that barbecued goodness (or both) – here are the best cigars to pair with it all. WARNING: Read with caution; this may cause you to eat your monitor.
Ci-Jargon: Newfangled Cigar Slang for the Millennium
Ci-Jargon: Cigar Slang You Can Use
by Tommy Zman
Every type of subculture out there has its own terminology, nomenclature and colloquial expressions that define things within that lifestyle, and the cigar world certainly has a few of their own. After giving it a little thought, I came up with a dozen slang terms that we lovers of the smoldering ash can generally identify with. But then I thought, “jeez, only a dozen?” You’d think that a genre as popular as the cigar universe would have a bit more of its own specialized lingo to rely upon within its leafy vernacular. (Man, somebody broke out the thesaurus today.)
So, please find below a list of perhaps the top dozen slang terms we cigar smokers like to bandy about… then, find below that, 22 brand-spankin-new uses of cigar related jargon, or as I would like to refer to it as “Ci-jargon”.
Common Cigar Slang Terms…
Stick – referring to a cigar… Dog Rocket – Referring to a really foul cigar… Herf – a gathering of cigar smokers large or small… Coolerdor – A homemade humidor created from a customized Igloo-type cooler… ISOM – A term used in forums referring to Cuba, as the “Island South of Miami”… Nubbing – Smoking your cigar down to the fingernails… Flavor Bomb – A cigar loaded with big tobacco flavor… Nic Bomb – A strong cigar that’ll knock you on your ash… BOTL / SOTL – Brother Of The Leaf or Sister Of The Leaf… Moocher – A slug who’s always bumming cigars off friends… Yard Gar – a cheaper smoke, often bundled and worthy of smoking while doing yard work… Smoke Nazi – an anti-smoking zealot (see my article “Say Hello to My Smoke Nazi Neighbor” for some frightening reference).
Zman’s New Crop of Cigar Slang Terms Released for Immediate Usage…
- Your Cigar Smoking Outfit: Cigarmour – Strap on the Charlie Sheen bowling shirt and Carlito Fuente hat so people immediately know that you dabble in double maduro.
- Someone who smokes cigars while driving: Tobacco Roadie
- The act of ditching a wretched cigar after only a few puffs. – Rocket Launch
- When your stick unravels after cutting it. – a Ravelation – Which can also be a common cause of Cigar-rage.
- Accidentally putting the lit end of the cigar in your mouth: Habano Hot Foot – There’s just nothing more foul than executing this boneheaded maneuver.
- Tobacco crumbs you spit out that end up in your mouth after cutting: Tobaglets
- Nubbing a cigar with a tooth pick: a Cuban Roachclip or a Gar d’Oeuvre
- A full-bodied beast that gives you a nicotine buzz/high: a Don Doobie or La Flor de Mary Jane – Whoooooa, bro, the colors…
- Getting the sweats and/or puking from a nicotine bomb: Churchill’s Revenge – FACT: An LFD Double ligero and a scotch ‘before’ lunch isn’t the smartest thing one can do.
- A cigar hater: The Enemy – Hell yeah…
- A passerby that tells you your cigar smells good: Someone with Good Scents – I know, right?
- A cigar that you relight more than 24 hours later: Deja-Vutola – Come on with the groaning already, that’s some clever shit right there.
- What you call a plugged cigar – a Butt-Plug – Makes sense…
- Finding a long-lost gem at the bottom of your humidor: Seco Serendipity or a Ring Gauge Reunion – One of life’s most unexpected little blessings.
- The act of singeing your facial hair with a torch lighter: a Butane Shave – The rancid stench of burning protein is most alarming.
- A cigar that someone either gifts you or raves about, and it sucks: a Ligero Letdown
- A car that reeks of cigar smell: Castro Convertible – Zman gets a gold star on the fridge for that little gem.
- Removing your rank clothes in the garage or back yard after herfing: The Dominican Disrobe – and always accompanied by a bar of Irish Spring and a chemical peel.
- Someone who owns more than three fully stocked humidors: a Humidork
- The loathsome bastid that never ever brings his own cigars to the bbq or herf: the Mooch-a-more – He’s a whole level worse than your run-of-the-mill mooch, as he will smoke all your premiums, eat your food, drink your booze, then complain that there’s no more ice. We ALL know this sloth and it’s time for a friendly beatdown.
So, there you have it, Cigartophiles (oooo, that’s a good one), my official list of new cigar slang that can be used as you wish on Facebook, the forums, and a local herf near you. Lemme know in the comments below which ones you plan on using, or, you can even share a few of your own with us!