When out on the lawn dropped a Value Line bundle,
I sprang from my chair and started to stumble.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and reached for the stash;
Moonlight on the wrappers of fresh-rolled cigars
Gave them a luster like thousands of stars;
When, what to my wondering eyes was appearing,
Dozens of Acid cigars, how endearing!
With my razor-sharp cutter, so lively and quick,
I knew pretty soon I’d be lighting a stick.
More rapid than eagles the cigars they all came,
I whistled and shouted, and called them by name;
Perdomos! Conucos! VSL Dominicans!
On Kristoff! On VUDU! On Kinky! On Griffins!
To the top of the porch to the top of the wall!
I was smoking so fast, I had just smoked them all!
As long leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
My only obstacle, was keeping them dry,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With a sleigh-full of Hemingway Signatures, too;
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I sniffed I smelled smoke, and from what I could tell,
Down the chimney he came with a Rocky Patel;
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all covered with ashes and soot;
With a bundle of El Cobre flung on his back,
He looked like a smoker and opened his pack;
The cigars – how they twinkled! Their wrappers how smooth!
Don Pepin Garcias, with nary a tooth!
His droll little mouth was red as a rash,
And the beard of his chin was as white as an ash;
With the stump of a Nub held tight in his teeth,
The smoke encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and took out a cutter,
Then clipped his cigar like a pro, smooth as butter;
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I watched as he placed a Padron on the shelf;
With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
That’s when I knew I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled up my humidor, then turned with a jerk,
As I placed in his fingers some fine Nesticos
In a huge gust of smoke, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, and whistled with glee
While he puffed with delight on an Ugly Coyote
Then I heard him exclaim, as he took one last toke,
“HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD SMOKE!”
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