The Smoke Before Christmas (2011)

With my razor-sharp cutter, so lively and quick,
I knew pretty soon I’d be lighting a stick.
More rapid than eagles the cigars they all came,
He whistled and shouted, and called them by name;

Perdomos! Carrillos! and JM Dominicans!
On Thunder! On VUDU! On Acid, and Nish Xens!
To the top of the porch to the top of the wall!
I was smoking so fast, I had just smoked them all!

As long leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
My only obstacle, was keeping them dry,
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With a sleigh-full of Hemingway Signatures, too;

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I sniffed I smelled smoke, and from what I could tell,
Down the chimney he came with a Rocky Patel;

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all covered with ashes and soot;
With a bundle of Value Line flung on his back,
He looked like a smoker and opened his pack;

The cigars – how they twinkled! Their wrappers how smooth!
Punch Rare Corojos, with nary a tooth!
His droll little mouth was red as a rash,
And the beard of his chin was as white as an ash;

With the stump of a Nub held tight in his teeth,
The smoke encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and took out a cutter,
Then clipped his cigar like a pro, smooth as butter;

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I watched as he placed a Padron on the shelf;
With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
That’s when I knew I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled up my humidor, then turned with a jerk,
As I placed in his fingers some Oliva O’s
In a huge gust of smoke, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, and whistled with glee
While he puffed with delight on an Tatuaje
Then I heard him exclaim, as he took one last toke,
“HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD SMOKE!” 

~ G.K.

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